Inyandiko yashyizwe ahagaragara n’uwitwa Alice Buckler mu gitabo « Les Mécanismes de la crédulité », igira iti : « waba ufite ugushidikanya ku budahemuka bw’umufasha wawe ? Dore bimwe mu bimenyetso byagufasha kumenya niba ugushidikanya kwawe kuzuye ukwibeshya cyangwa niba gufite ishingiro. Wowe ubwawe isuzumire, umenye uko bihagaze.
1.Aguha impano nta mpamvu
Uritonde ! Ntuzavudukane mugenzi wawe aje akuzaniye agapaki k’indabo ! Icyo ukwiye kugiraho amakenga ni impano za hato na hato kandi zidasobanutse. Kuko bamwe mu batangabuhamya bivugira ko buri weekend baha abakunzi babo impano, zirimo n’imirimbo yo ku matwi kandi ntibitere ikibazo.
2.Yahinduye amagambo ye y’ibanga (password)
Niba ufunguye imashini yanyu, ugasanga aderesi ya e-mail yarahindutse, urubuga umufasha wawe ahuriraho n’inshuti ze rwarahindutse, amagambo y’ibanga mwakoreshaga byose byarahindutse, ibi bizagutere kwibaza k’uwo mwashakanye. Umugore umwe aragira ati : « umugabo wanjye mufitiye urwikekwe ; ashobora kuba ambeshya : yahinduye amagambo y’ibanga, igihe cyose akimara avugana n’abantu ntazi ! »
3.Ntakirekura telefoni ye
Mu ntangiriro washobora gukurikirana no kumenya ibikorerwa kuri telefoni ye byose, ariko ubu ntibishoboka : abo yahamagaye, abamuhamagaye, ubutumwa bugufi yohereje n’ubwo yakiriye, n’ibindi. Hari n’ubwo ajya kwitabira inyuma ya dushe (douche/urwiyuhagiriro).
4.Ku buryo butunguranye yagize akazi kenshi
Haciye amezi make, uko bwije n’uko bukeye niko agenda agira akazi kenshi, inama zidashira, ingendo z’urudaca, amahugurwa atarangira n’ibindi ; nyamara ibyo byose nta musaruro ubibonamo, haba kuzamurwa mu ntera cyangwa se mu gafaranga. Ikigaragara ni uko aba akeneye igihe kinini, kimwe akakimara no mu mahoteli, ari na ko adatangwa mu kwimeza neza muri weekend.
5.Nta kanunu k’imibonano mpuzabitsina akigira
Haba haciye ibyumweru byinshi, yewe n’amezi, nta kugukozaho imitwe y’intoki ze ? Nta n’ubwo yabonye ko waguze utwenda tw’imbere dushya ? Iyo umwiyegereje se, akwigizayo yitwaje ko ananiwe, cyangwa akemera mugahuza ibitsina atakwitayeho, nta gutegurana kuhabaye ? Niba yabikoze ku manywa, nimugoroba ntashaka kwiyongeza ? Suzuma urebe.
6.Yahinduye uburyo bwo kwambara ?
Uburyo wamwambikagamo burahinduka bwose : udupira, amashati, imikandara, mode yo kwiyogoshesha, n’ibindi. Ajya kwirangaza muri siporo, akagerageza no gusubira inyuma mu myambarire ku rugero nk’urwo mu myaka 10 yatambutse.
7.Nta mishinga akigira
Ntagiteganya aho gukorera ibiruhuko ! Nta gitekerezo cyo kugura indi modoka ; yumva kubyara undi mwana atari ngombwa. Ibi byose ni ibigaragaza ko uwo mwashakanye arambiwe kubana nawe.
8.Nta na kimwe mukora mufatanyije
Ibihe byiza mwagiranye urabyibuka bikagutera agahinda ; arifata akareba televiziyo wenyine mu cyumba ; akajya gusura inshuti ze wenyine. Ni nk’aho yakakubwiye ko gusohokana nawe nta gaciro bigifite, ko ukwiye kuguma mu rugo ukita ku bana n’amatungo.
9.Aragigimiza/arya indimi, ibyo avuga ntibyumvikane
Urugero ni igihe umutunguye, ukamufatana kapote, ibirungo abakobwa bisiga ku munwa byamufashe ku ishati ; fagitire yishyuriyeho ibyo baririye muri resitora, …aho kwemera ikosa, akarakara cyane, agacurikiranya amagambo yisobanura, agahimbahimba aho byaturutse ariko ntabashe kwisobanura neza.
10.Atanga ibisobanuro byinshi bikabije, afite indi nshuti magara nshya
Yishakiye indi nshuti magara y’umugabo bajyana muri siporo, bagasangira ikirahuri, bakandikirana ubutumwa bugufi, n’ibindi. Mbese mu buzima bwe busanzwe hinjiyemo undi muntu wowe utazi uko byagenze. Gusa uzagenzure neza kuko hari ubwo uwo mugabo yaba ari uwo kugukinga mu maso, bagera iyo bagiye akifatira undi mukobwa ushobora kuba akurusha uburanga.
Mu gitabo “L’infidélité”, umwanditsi Yvon Dallaire, we atanga ibisobanuro byinshi bitandukanye ariko uko biri kose umenye neza ko gucana inyuma hagati y’abashakanye ari byo biza ku isonga mu mpamvu zituma abashakanye batandukana muri Amerika. Niba rero utazi iko wabyitwaramo umufasha wawe umufatiye mu cyuho aguca inyuma, dore inama : ugomba kugira ukwihangana mu kababaro uterwa no kuba yaguciye inyuma, kuko wenda bishoboka ko wagize uruhare mu kuraruka kwe. Uzamubwize ukuri, n’ubwo ibyabaye bishobora kutibagirana muri wowe, yewe waba unabyibitse bikakubabaza.
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